When I think back to how things used to be, with Blue Eyes, it is difficult to remove the umbrella of pain and sadness and trauma that seems to hover over those memories. If I dig deep though, I know what we had was pretty great in the scheme of things. We had a long term loving relationship. … Continue reading “The only winning move is not to play.”
survival after betrayal
Dreamers
Some people think it is odd that I can remember my dreams with such clarity. I guess a lot of people can't remember their dreams, and if they can, they can't remember much detail. About once a week I have a really vivid dream that stays with me for at least a few hours, if … Continue reading Dreamers
Why did I do that?
I just talked with a therapist that Blue Eyes and I had seen early on. I'll call her Ms. Honey because she is so sweet. Strangely enough, Ms. Honey actually answered her phone. I have never had that happen before at any kind of doctor or therapist office. I always get voice mail. I was a bit taken … Continue reading Why did I do that?
The only way out, is right on through
As previously mentioned, Blue Eyes had invited me to go with him to his weekly therapy appointment yesterday morning. We decided to organize our thoughts the night before, to make sure there was some semblance of order between us before unleashing our mess on The Shrink. I started to become frustrated as I felt like maybe my going … Continue reading The only way out, is right on through
The sinner and the saint
Well, here goes. We had a doozy of a day on Thursday. Numerous commenters to this blog have called me a saint. I chuckle at the moniker, I am not a religious person and know no other connotation for the word. They are specifically speaking to my role as wife of the now infamous Blue Eyes. … Continue reading The sinner and the saint
Looking back, just like any other day
I am moving right past the fact that this is it, right now, as I type this, the two year anniversary of the discovery day phone call. Blue Eyes did write me a beautiful and loving thank you note acknowledging that he knows what this day represents to me and that he is grateful for everything … Continue reading Looking back, just like any other day
One year ago today
This past weekend we traveled to the coast to attend my sister's wedding. I blogged about her. She's the one whose first husband came home one day and told her he was cheating on her, that he was in fact leaving her, for a man. That was a few years ago. Her ex has been married … Continue reading One year ago today
Happy Blogiversary
On October 3, 2015 my blog turned one year old. I have now published 247 posts and received thousands of views and comments. I never could have imagined the emotions that would surround me writing a mostly anonymous blog about my husband's infidelity. At the time I started the blog, my story was nearly 10 … Continue reading Happy Blogiversary
What happens when they break the rules
Life has been moving right along, no real problems, no real worries. We finally closed financing on our beach house. We broke ground and took a quick drive over to the property to watch the first anchors and pilings going in for the foundation. A round trip drive to the coast means a little less … Continue reading What happens when they break the rules
On being “strong”
Ocean Waters 2, 10" x 10" oil on canvas “To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength.” ~Criss Jami I find the above quote so intriguing. When I think of it in terms of Blue Eyes, I think sure that is his greatest challenge. To … Continue reading On being “strong”
try not to cry on my rainbow 