True Story. As Blue Eyes and I were packing up at our midtown NYC hotel room this past Sunday I received a distressing phone call from a friend. I was already stressed out as the front desk staff and the housekeeping staff were having major communication issues and even though we have a guaranteed 2pm … Continue reading It’s complicated
We have a number of different views out of our 14th story hotel room here in midtown Manhattan. We're here for business, but also visiting our Brooklyn son. The above is the view I have been staring at most of the day. I don't seem to be able to control my mood here in the … Continue reading Midtown mood
I’m currently on a plane to San Francisco to spend a long weekend with Blue Eyes, being touristy. We’ve been to the Bay Area dozens of times, Blue Eyes was actually born just outside the city, but this time I wanted to do a couple walking tours, Chinatown and Little Italy... some history, some food, … Continue reading Strong a.f.
Possibly been sticking my head where it doesn't belong again, and getting my panties in a wad. For those of us who have been in long term marriages, or intimate partnerships, we know it's not all sweetness and light. It's not all romance and sexy time. In fact, it's mostly not about that at all. … Continue reading Rationalization 201
I've written numerous times here of my support of the 12 step program for addicts, especially sex addicts. I have read numerous blog entries over the years from people whose opinion differs from mine. I get it. I have actually never been to a 12 step meeting, of any kind, so why would I think … Continue reading Here’s where it gets sticky
My blog entries from this summer bear out the fact that I have struggled. I've tried to work through the why. To be honest, I feel like Blue Eyes has been doing some gas lighting... I know he doesn't realize this is what he is doing, but I do. His seeing my unease and confusion, … Continue reading I’m okay, but…
Blogger friend, B, has prompted another post. She's good that way! In a comment on my last blog entry, she posted a link to this NY Times article and mentioned that she thought I might be able to relate. https://www.nytimes.com/2017/08/18/style/modern-love-married-to-a-mystery-man.html?ref=oembed I read the article twice, and then replied to B's comment. I absolutely can relate to … Continue reading Mystery man, or liar?
As mentioned previously on this blog, I periodically perform an internet search of people I know, specifically my husband and kids. I have done this for a long time, way before dday. Mostly it used to be fun. Blue Eyes used to have a lot of links and photos, etc... when he was still on social … Continue reading Another missing piece
Blue Eyes is now three years sober. He will receive his three year sobriety chip at his next Sexaholics Anonymous meeting. His official self proclaimed sobriety date is December 11, 2013. His last date of acting out with the other woman was July 30, 2013. His sobriety date corresponds with the day he decided for himself … Continue reading Living in denial
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2X0Zv7kfwU0 I listened to the studio version of this song... "I Don't Wanna Love Somebody Else" by A Great Big World so many times post discovery day I thought I would just die right then and there, listening to that song, crying out those words. Wherever I was, in my office, in my closet, in … Continue reading Trauma is a bitch