Oh my god there has been so much going on in our lives I want to scream and run far far away and just be. Just be still, and quiet, and alone. It doesn’t much matter where, just that I can vanquish the noise.

Reminding myself of the good things.

It’s summer. The weather has been bliss. 80’s every day here in Portland and if not for the smoke from local fires, perfect. We have so many gorgeous ripe, red heirloom Brandywine tomatoes filling up the kitchen table. I’m about to go preserve some beautiful tomato sauce to use when the local tomatoes are done for the season. Bunnies ate a few of my eggplant and pepper plants, down to little nibbled twigs, but we’ve still got plenty, and they didn’t touch the luscious tomatoes this year! Win!

Vacation rentals: The beach house is rented solid until November.

Although this means we can’t stay there, it also means I’ve had the funds to remodel the kitchen and a bath in Portland, and a bath in Ojai. I ❤️ home improvements! We’ve also got people clamoring to stay at the Ojai house. It’s currently blocked so we can get that ADU completed. We’ll be there in October then guests arrive November and it’s booked for months. Until we retire and move down there more full time, this is a good thing! We’re sticking close to home to be near the aging parents.

I finally got them settled in an assisted living community. It took months to get them moved from one facility to another. Then Dad called the other day to say mom isn’t happy there, so he’s going to start looking for another place. This is how he keeps himself busy these days. *sigh* There’s nothing more for me to do. Blue Eyes’ 91 1/2 year old Dad is really starting to lose it. He keeps calling Blue Eyes to ask him for help to bring him back to the US, or ask him when he can finally go back “home.” *double sigh* Getting old is a bitch!

Our trans daughter, The Pragmatist became engaged to her girlfriend of 10 1/2 years over New Years. Then at 11 years together they broke up and our daughter is moving out of their Brooklyn apartment this month. I’m not sad. Sunny was a challenge. Our daughter recently had facial feminization surgery and is coming for a visit next month, alone. This hasn’t happened for years. Although The Pragmatist is a handful, she’s half the handful without her former partner. I wonder if I will recognize her.

Blue Eyes, the chronic snore machine with a wicked post nasal drip finally got his septoplasty, his deviated septum repaired. He’s still healing (two black eyes) but I’m excited to see if this helps with his sleep and his breathing. Fingers crossed we can both sleep better.

Business is fine. I received some really distressing news regarding the wife of a former employee, but I won’t write about it here. My heart is with her during an incredibly difficult time.

I now have two torn muscles in my left arm, the one where I had shoulder surgery. It’s frustrating. I purchased a sleeve to hopefully help. Not sure it will. PT seems to be making it worse, which is distressing.

Blue Eyes and I celebrated 37 years (42 total years together) last month. Things are fine. He’s fine. I’m fine. We’re fine. We’re poster kids for surviving betrayal, childhood wounds, sex addiction induced ptsd… NOT!!! But we’ve survived so far, and that’s something!

Just getting all this out is helping. I’ve come to the realization that in this time we live in with the constant barrage of negative information flow reminding us how messed up the world is, I need to shut it all down and just breathe.