Journal Entry: September 11, 2014 This term, “mind-blowing” sex has been ruminating in my head for months now. Today is the 8-month anniversary of dday. Early in my trauma journey, I read some blogs and articles by mistresses. I was trying to understand why women cheat with married men, especially single women seeking out married … Continue reading So, let’s talk about “mind blowing” sex
acting out partner
A present day breakthrough
Yesterday I wrote a blog post that included a journal entry from this past August. I talked about how that day, August 14, was the one-year anniversary of the day my husband broke up with his eight-year affair partner on a drive home from a one-day business trip to a nearby city. Coincidentally, last night … Continue reading A present day breakthrough
Heartbroken
Journal Entry: August 14, 2014 Today is another trigger filled day. Today is the one year anniversary of the last day my husband saw Camilla. They did not have sex. He had meetings out of town in a large city three hours away by car. From the phone records, I know they had been texting … Continue reading Heartbroken
I want to go home
Journal Entry: August 11, 2014 I wake up sad and lonely. I want to go back to the place where someone took care of me, where someone loved me unconditionally, where someone nurtured me and didn't take me for granted. I want to go back to the place where I played all day, out in … Continue reading I want to go home
The phone bill doesn’t lie
journal Entry: August 8, 2014 Things have been going pretty well since our anniversary. No real overly dramatic moments for me, although the PTSD still knocks me on my ass on a regular basis. Our older son visited for a few days last week and we all went out to our new beach property. My husband was able … Continue reading The phone bill doesn’t lie
Feeding the Beast: my husband’s affair partners
journal Entry: July 30, 2014 Today is the anniversary of the last time my husband had sexual relations with a woman other than me. Nearly 30 years after we started dating, and one day after our 24th wedding anniversary, my husband had a "quickie" sexual liaison with his eight year affair partner, for the very … Continue reading Feeding the Beast: my husband’s affair partners
He finally called the police
Journal Entry: July 14, 2014 At my last therapy appointment I mentioned something about the fact that the other woman was still calling. My therapist, Chatty Kathy, seemed pretty shocked the woman was still calling, and also asked me why I hadn't changed my number out yet. I told her I had tried, but the … Continue reading He finally called the police
A quick peek into the very sick mind of a sex addict
Journal Entry: July 13, 2014 My husband is feeling better, so we decide to go out to lunch together. As we are finishing our lunch, we are chatting, sitting across from each other and I notice my husband, distracted, looking off somewhere behind me. I ignore it. Then, as I am talking, I see him smile at … Continue reading A quick peek into the very sick mind of a sex addict
Hospitals, our home away from home
Journal Entry: July 13, 2014 I cannot even count the number of times my husband has been in the hospital since I have known him. The first night we "slept together" he left for the hospital the next day. We were 20 years old, and sleeping together, in his single dorm room, turned out to be a lot … Continue reading Hospitals, our home away from home
Flirting with triggers, again
Journal Entry: November 25, 2014 I fear that if I don't intersperse some present day posts in here, I will never get caught up to current with this blog. Dday was January 11, 2014. My husband's jilted "mistress" called my mobile phone and I think assumed she would break up my marriage so she could … Continue reading Flirting with triggers, again
try not to cry on my rainbow 