As previously mentioned, yesterday was Blue Eyes' Birthday. We're on vacation. I knew he would need to do some work on this trip because we had arbitration last week, which put us both behind, AND, he can't take a 10-day vacation these days without working. Sad to some, not sad to us. We're short handed … Continue reading It still happens
journaling my life
Beautiful places
Today is Blue Eyes' Birthday and we are on the beautiful Hawaiian island of Kauai. As a Birthday treat for both BE and The Peacemaker (his birthday is Friday), I booked a scenic flight around the island for the three of us. A few years ago Blue Eyes and I saw the dramatic Na Pali … Continue reading Beautiful places
Over, but not done
We made it through. Four gruesome days of arbitration with the builder of our beach house. It was simply, AWFUL. So many lies and accusations flying around the room, my head was spinning. During their testimony, the other side, both the former owner (contractor on our job) and new owner (foreman on our job) were … Continue reading Over, but not done
Precipice
He's there, right now, sitting at the edge of his own sanity. He's unable to hide it, or even deny it. It's not coming from nowhere. It's muscle memory. It's those feelings of having been here before. Not in this exact place, but something, somewhere similar. A bustling city, a lonely hotel room, life crashing … Continue reading Precipice
This too shall pass
In and amongst everything else going on in our lives, we are in arbitration with the builder of our beach house. Yes, THAT beach house. Yes, the house was theoretically "completed" nearly THREE years ago. Yes, it is a NIGHTMARE. Almost six years ago, Blue Eyes agreed that it was time we owned a beach … Continue reading This too shall pass
Five Years
WordPress just wished me a Happy Anniversary. It's been five years since I started this blog. This story began with a phone call. That phone call was from a woman who wanted to punish me for my husband's bad acts. Discovery Day: January 11, 2014. That's the day I started ferociously journaling, attempting to off … Continue reading Five Years
Triggered
This past week I finished watching the television series called The Fall (2013-2016). I watched it all the way through over a few weeks time. It is dark, and intense. The story of a serial killer (Jamie Dornan) in Belfast, Ireland, and the detective (Gillian Anderson) brought in to track him down. It was a … Continue reading Triggered
Integrity
So, it's been written over and over that sex addiction isn't really about sex, just like alcoholism isn't really about the brand of alcohol a person likes to drink. Addiction is about medicating wounds, trauma, mental illness, about filling the void and feeling better in the moment, even if that moment is ever so brief. … Continue reading Integrity
Two stepping
In a comment Blue Eyes made on the My identity post a few days ago, he wrote "I am not a two stepper." I had no idea what a "two stepper" was in relation to addiction. So I asked him what it meant to him, then I looked it up (to see what it meant to others). … Continue reading Two stepping
B.P.D.
I wrote a post a couple years ago about suicide and also bits about my sister's mental illness. It will never be about us I describe a situation where she had harmed herself and was put in a suicidal lock-down ward of a local hospital. I took to her a gift of a little Beanie … Continue reading B.P.D.
try not to cry on my rainbow 