Although my husband is a diagnosed sex addict, he is also a cheater. When I first found out about his cheating, I had no idea he was a sex addict or that such a thing was even real. There were a lot of revelations on his part over those first few days, and an obvious … Continue reading Betrayal doesn’t define me
married to a sex addict
I understand why they leave
I've been away for a while. No real reason other than I have been busy and also dealing with some health issues. Sometimes no matter what we do, our aging bodies fail us. I started insulin last night for my diabetes, but that is a story for a different day. Today I'm talking about the … Continue reading I understand why they leave
Dear Addiction, This is Goodbye
I'm sharing here a blog post written by an addict. The words, Vanessa's adaptation of them, all of them, mesmerized me and will resonate with me for a very long time. Addiction is a powerful beast. But I have to be totally honest. As I was reading the words, I was picturing Blue Eyes' last … Continue reading Dear Addiction, This is Goodbye
My relationship with s-anon
What is my relationship with S-Anon? Well, basically, I don't have one. In a perfect world my husband would have worked with his therapist, told the therapist the truth about his secret sex life, all of it, and then worked with the therapist on a way to more safely inform me of Blue Eyes' sexual … Continue reading My relationship with s-anon
Rock bottom
My last post, prompted by an article in which the author did very little to differentiate sex addiction from sex offending (criminal behavior, pedophilia, sex with a minor, etc...), elicited some interesting conversation in the comments. It also got me and Blue Eyes talking quite a bit about this subject of sex addicts and their … Continue reading Rock bottom
There are no villains here
I was recently reading an article written by a woman who is a life coach and who has spent some time counseling victims of sex crimes. The title of her article was, literally, 'Sex Addiction.' That's it. She didn't talk about the difference between an offender and an addict. She did talk about addiction in … Continue reading There are no villains here
Feeling good
These past few days have been amazing. I am feeling good. I started up eating healthy, again, cutting out a lot of the bad carbs and red meat, and fatty dairy, again. Blue Eyes and I have been doing well, together at the beach house for the past few days, having fun with the dogs. … Continue reading Feeling good
On being the wife of a sex addict
After writing my last post, two things happened. First, my husband wrote an entry on his own blog talking about misery and that he is an addict and recovery is hard, and a choice, and that he is powerless and when he acknowledges his powerlessness, he is better able to see his way out of … Continue reading On being the wife of a sex addict
I’m okay, but…
My blog entries from this summer bear out the fact that I have struggled. I've tried to work through the why. To be honest, I feel like Blue Eyes has been doing some gaslighting... I know he doesn't realize this is what he is doing, but I do. His seeing my unease and confusion, and … Continue reading I’m okay, but…
Cycles
I feel like I am caught in a series of cycles. Menopause is one that is getting the better of me. I know I have written about this before, because I have been "going through" menopause since before I commenced writing this blog. I was about 35 years old when we made the decision not … Continue reading Cycles
try not to cry on my rainbow 