I'm still counting down the days to trauma therapy... four more. One of the things the trauma therapist asked for was a document explaining what I hoped for our time together. What I want to accomplish. Here's what I sent her. I honestly didn't know what to say. It was difficult to write out how … Continue reading What do I want
married to a sex addict
They’re talking about me
My sister was talking about me. This would be the sister who shared the same divorced parents, the same childhood experiences, the same trauma. Despite her mental illness, or maybe because of it, she is sharp as a tack. She's insightful, and intuitive, and I know she looks up to me. I'm her big sister, … Continue reading They’re talking about me
I’m that girl
The good girl. The designated driver. The one who looks around for who might have dropped that $20 bill in the mall parking lot and then turns it in to the security desk. I'm the one who got straight A's, always. The teacher's pet. The good friend, never the mean girl. I'm the one who … Continue reading I’m that girl
Stay
Hwy. 101, photo credit Clay Banks I'm not really a country music fan, but I do have quite a bit of it in my iTunes library as I purchase it and load it on my sister's old school iPod. We bought the iPod for her as a Christmas gift a few years ago. She doesn't … Continue reading Stay
Here we go…
Just when I started acclimating to the idea that we will be paying hundreds of thousands of dollars of money to a lying building contractor and his bully of an attorney, Blue Eyes has decided to "reconcile" with his parents. WHAT??? He has been talking about sending them a letter for a while. I've written … Continue reading Here we go…
Adulting is hard
Columbia River Gorge I've been a little down lately. Not sure if it is the change of seasons, change of clocks, change of scenery, or what. Pretty sure it's not change of seasons as Autumn is my favorite and our weather here in the Pacific Northwest has been glorious. Probably not change of clocks. I'm … Continue reading Adulting is hard
Mind blown 🤯
POST #500 As I was responding to a comment by Spouse of a Sex Addict from my last post, it triggered a memory from arbitration. As mentioned, arbitration week was hell. We listened to the contractor on our beach house construction project lie, repeatedly. He spoke softly and gently and made it look like he … Continue reading Mind blown 🤯
It still happens
As previously mentioned, yesterday was Blue Eyes' Birthday. We're on vacation. I knew he would need to do some work on this trip because we had arbitration last week, which put us both behind, AND, he can't take a 10-day vacation these days without working. Sad to some, not sad to us. We're short handed … Continue reading It still happens
Precipice
He's there, right now, sitting at the edge of his own sanity. He's unable to hide it, or even deny it. It's not coming from nowhere. It's muscle memory. It's those feelings of having been here before. Not in this exact place, but something, somewhere similar. A bustling city, a lonely hotel room, life crashing … Continue reading Precipice
Five Years
WordPress just wished me a Happy Anniversary. It's been five years since I started this blog. This story began with a phone call. That phone call was from a woman who wanted to punish me for my husband's bad acts. Discovery Day: January 11, 2014. That's the day I started ferociously journaling, attempting to off … Continue reading Five Years
try not to cry on my rainbow 