Top of the Falls. Yosemite. This post is kind of a continuation of my last only in the fact that the acting out partner played a huge role in Blue Eyes secret sex addicted life for the eight years before discovery. For those who have followed me for a while, or who have read my … Continue reading The letter
survival after betrayal
There is no better or worse
Photo by Alex Iby Some recent reading has prompted me to write about a lesson I learned VERY early on in this betrayed wife journey. Blue Eyes learned a similar lesson in his own way. Ironically I could see the lesson he needed to learn far more quickly than I could see my own. When … Continue reading There is no better or worse
Everything I need
Malibu, Photo Credit: Jenna Day There's a piece of me that belongs to Los Angeles. I'm a west coast girl and have been visiting LA since long before I met my husband, and I met him at 20! Blue Eyes is from The San Fernando Valley, just northwest of Los Angeles proper. He's a "Valley … Continue reading Everything I need
What do I want
I'm still counting down the days to trauma therapy... four more. One of the things the trauma therapist asked for was a document explaining what I hoped for our time together. What I want to accomplish. Here's what I sent her. I honestly didn't know what to say. It was difficult to write out how … Continue reading What do I want
They’re talking about me
My sister was talking about me. This would be the sister who shared the same divorced parents, the same childhood experiences, the same trauma. Despite her mental illness, or maybe because of it, she is sharp as a tack. She's insightful, and intuitive, and I know she looks up to me. I'm her big sister, … Continue reading They’re talking about me
I’m that girl
The good girl. The designated driver. The one who looks around for who might have dropped that $20 bill in the mall parking lot and then turns it in to the security desk. I'm the one who got straight A's, always. The teacher's pet. The good friend, never the mean girl. I'm the one who … Continue reading I’m that girl
Stay
Hwy. 101, photo credit Clay Banks I'm not really a country music fan, but I do have quite a bit of it in my iTunes library as I purchase it and load it on my sister's old school iPod. We bought the iPod for her as a Christmas gift a few years ago. She doesn't … Continue reading Stay
Standing in judgment
Those beautiful beach blues. I spent a wonderful five nights at the beach house a while back. A couple of the days were really lovely, weather-wise. Blue skies and 60 degrees in November is pure bliss on the Oregon Coast. Those two "balmy" days just happened to be ones where Blue Eyes was in the … Continue reading Standing in judgment
We lost
Drive to the beach house this afternoon. I’m writing this here because I don’t have the energy to talk about it with anyone in real life, not even Blue Eyes. But it is really weighing my heart down, so here I go. I’m hoping getting this out into the blogosphere will help release what feels … Continue reading We lost
Adulting is hard
Columbia River Gorge I've been a little down lately. Not sure if it is the change of seasons, change of clocks, change of scenery, or what. Pretty sure it's not change of seasons as Autumn is my favorite and our weather here in the Pacific Northwest has been glorious. Probably not change of clocks. I'm … Continue reading Adulting is hard
try not to cry on my rainbow 