Drive to the beach house this afternoon. I’m writing this here because I don’t have the energy to talk about it with anyone in real life, not even Blue Eyes. But it is really weighing my heart down, so here I go. I’m hoping getting this out into the blogosphere will help release what feels … Continue reading We lost
survival after betrayal
Adulting is hard
Columbia River Gorge I've been a little down lately. Not sure if it is the change of seasons, change of clocks, change of scenery, or what. Pretty sure it's not change of seasons as Autumn is my favorite and our weather here in the Pacific Northwest has been glorious. Probably not change of clocks. I'm … Continue reading Adulting is hard
It still happens
As previously mentioned, yesterday was Blue Eyes' Birthday. We're on vacation. I knew he would need to do some work on this trip because we had arbitration last week, which put us both behind, AND, he can't take a 10-day vacation these days without working. Sad to some, not sad to us. We're short handed … Continue reading It still happens
Over, but not done
We made it through. Four gruesome days of arbitration with the builder of our beach house. It was simply, AWFUL. So many lies and accusations flying around the room, my head was spinning. During their testimony, the other side, both the former owner (contractor on our job) and new owner (foreman on our job) were … Continue reading Over, but not done
Five Years
WordPress just wished me a Happy Anniversary. It's been five years since I started this blog. This story began with a phone call. That phone call was from a woman who wanted to punish me for my husband's bad acts. Discovery Day: January 11, 2014. That's the day I started ferociously journaling, attempting to off … Continue reading Five Years
Integrity
So, it's been written over and over that sex addiction isn't really about sex, just like alcoholism isn't really about the brand of alcohol a person likes to drink. Addiction is about medicating wounds, trauma, mental illness, about filling the void and feeling better in the moment, even if that moment is ever so brief. … Continue reading Integrity
What we learn
As it turns out, I am surrounded these days by young couples getting married. Some years we're bombarded with graduation announcements, some years big birthday parties, this year, weddings. I used to cry at weddings. What a happy day, two people joining together, promising their undying love and devotion to each other, forever. Everyone looks … Continue reading What we learn
My identity
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sIaT8Jl2zpI It's no secret that I am not a religious person. My spirituality comes from within. My strength comes from knowing I am a good person. It's also no secret that I listen to Top 40 music. I have a huge playlist on my iTunes that crosses every genre, but I never remember to set … Continue reading My identity
Love is more than a feeling
A friend posted this quote on Facebook a couple days ago: "Love is kind. Anything less isn't love at all."Which made me think of this old Time Magazine story. I think I have linked to this article before, but I couldn't find it so I'm posting it again. Meaning of Love The article titled: We … Continue reading Love is more than a feeling
Will I be okay
On our recent business trip back east, we stayed at a hotel in Boston for four nights. When you get off the elevator of the 14th floor of this hotel, there is a little grouping of paintings, with this quote in the middle: After a few arrivals to our floor, and Blue Eyes looking at … Continue reading Will I be okay
try not to cry on my rainbow 