It was Sunday morning of this past holiday weekend and I was triggered by something, I don't quite remember. It wasn't so much debilitating as it was distracting. Those feelings of not knowing, of my instincts being totally off, for years. Of him telling me about Ashley, the first, how she had worked years before … Continue reading I knew it wasn’t perfect
survival after betrayal
Strong a.f.
I’m currently on a plane to San Francisco to spend a long weekend with Blue Eyes, being touristy. We’ve been to the Bay Area dozens of times, Blue Eyes was actually born just outside the city, but this time I wanted to do a couple walking tours, Chinatown and Little Italy... some history, some food, … Continue reading Strong a.f.
Moving on
Street Art at Wynwood Walls, Miami Disclaimer: I wrote this post as the third in the trilogy of 'I woke up to nothing' posts. I'm over those feelings now, but March included a couple of really difficult weeks. The sadness even spilled over into our business trip to Paris, but again, I'm doing better. I'm … Continue reading Moving on
I woke up to nothing, part one
Jack Kornfield said, “At the end of life, our questions are very simple: Did I live fully? Did I love well?” I've always held my husband completely accountable for all the lies, all the cheating, all the betrayal. Forgiveness came fairly easy to me (perhaps too easy). I don't hold hate and resentment in my … Continue reading I woke up to nothing, part one
Gimme that shiny thing
I had a rough week last week. Pretty sure this week is going to be filled with some ranting posts. Shall we begin? Work has been hellish lately. For quite some time I have focused on merely getting Blue Eyes through the day. I'm there for him, to talk, to discuss, to problem solve. I … Continue reading Gimme that shiny thing
I’m okay
Last week I drove to the beach house by myself. Blue Eyes and I were in a bit of a spat regarding a work issue. I had done my share, it was time for him to kick in. He promised me he would, then he didn't. It infuriated me. It was a big deal. I … Continue reading I’m okay
Love is…
I woke up this morning to my husband hugging me and telling me he loves me. The first thought that ran through my head was... he would say the same thing to any warm bodied female he happened to wake up next to, and I'm sure he has. I know he said it to the other … Continue reading Love is…
Paradise
Last month we spent nine days in Hawaii. Mostly I wanted to just relax, bask in the sunshine, walk along the beach, devour afternoon snacks by the pool. We didn't have a rental car and weren't near any actual town, just in a resort area, so we stayed put, all nine days. Paradise! Since we … Continue reading Paradise
It’s tomorrow
Yeah, per how I left yesterday's post, it's tomorrow and I'm dealing with it and I realized how off I am. Discovery day was January 11, 2014. Somehow I thought yesterday was the 11th? Well here in the United States of America TODAY is January 11th. I really only had one D-day. There was a … Continue reading It’s tomorrow
Here’s where it gets sticky
I've written numerous times here of my support of the 12 step program for addicts, especially sex addicts. I have read numerous blog entries over the years from people whose opinion differs from mine. I get it. I have actually never been to a 12 step meeting, of any kind, so why would I think … Continue reading Here’s where it gets sticky
try not to cry on my rainbow 