"I love myself!" It was a downright hellish battle for my trauma therapist to get me to say those words last year. In one of our earlier sessions, she said, "Kat, do you love yourself?" And I sat there, for a long time, thinking. And then tears started rolling down my cheeks. At that point, I … Continue reading I don’t actually know what is real
betrayal
I don’t want to be preachy, just understanding, but…
Oh boy, here we go. I don't really have a lot of time right now for blogging. I shouldn't be blogging. I should be up, and moving at the very least. I have my alarm set to get me up out of my chair every hour. Sitting is bad for me/us/people. I actually should be … Continue reading I don’t want to be preachy, just understanding, but…
Evolution of a friendship
This post has been floating around in my head for a while. A few days ago rac over at Life after his affair wrote a post about an old friend, which prompted me to actually get this out on paper, so to speak. I am not sure there is a real and good solution to … Continue reading Evolution of a friendship
“I know how difficult it must be…”
UGH. So what I really wanted to be doing while Blue Eyes is at his weekly Buddhist Meditation Meeting is writing another post about Paris, or even writing a post about how wonderful the recipe turned out that I tried for dinner tonight. The plantain tostadas with chipotle ranchero sauce, cilantro citrus marinated chicken, guacamole, … Continue reading “I know how difficult it must be…”
Confession to make
I write about how honest I am here on my blog, so I am going to make a confession that is a little uncomfortable for me. Sometimes, not very often and I am not sure exactly what in my mood brings this on, I log out of WordPress and I anonymously check cheater blogs. I … Continue reading Confession to make
The ambush, part two
Journal Entry, Cont'd: October 30, 2014 Blue Eyes and I drive the short mile back to our house in silence. He, of course, does not say anything, at all, and I am still so much in my head I am not even able to form cohesive sentences. I need to calm myself down somehow. I … Continue reading The ambush, part two
The ambush, part one
Journal Entry: October 30, 2014 This is the note I wrote to my husband after this morning’s disclosure: Some day I hope you can understand that every time, every fucking time you disclose information that you have been keeping from me, in other words lying about, it is like you are stabbing me with a … Continue reading The ambush, part one
Telling my sister
Journal Entry: October 27, 2014 “It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.” –Mark Twain I have mentioned before that I have 10 siblings and I adore them all. My parents were married when they were young, had me before they were both 20, … Continue reading Telling my sister
I am a strong, joyful woman deserving of happiness
Journal Entry: October 26, 2014 At the end of the day, this is my truth. I am strong, I am joyful, and I do deserve happiness. The last day of the workshop was incredibly taxing. If I thought I was tired and drained when I arrived, I had no idea what those words meant. I … Continue reading I am a strong, joyful woman deserving of happiness
Deciding to take my life back
Journal Entry: October 17, 2014 After my 45-minute phone call with Brian, the other half (the cheating half) of the winning team behind the http://beyondaffairs.com website and the Passionate Life Seminars (http://beyondaffairs.com/beyond_affairs_network_seminars/take-your-life-back-retreat/), Anne being his betrayed wife, I was excited, yet apprehensive. While talking with Brian, I realized the upcoming ‘Take Your Life Back’ 3-Day … Continue reading Deciding to take my life back
try not to cry on my rainbow 