A beautiful October morning in Portland I’m currently sitting on another plane heading down to Los Angeles. Blue Eyes was supposed to be the one on the plane. He was scheduled to be home for the weekend, to spend a little time in his own home, with me and The Peacemaker and his dog. I … Continue reading Give me strength
grief
Loneliness
All we can hope for is that Blue Eyes’ father feels a little better with us here. It occurred to Pooh and Piglet that they hadn't heard from Eeyore for several days, so they put on their hats and coats and trotted across the Hundred Acre Wood to Eeyore's stick house. Inside the house was … Continue reading Loneliness
Over Wendy’s dead body
We’re at our beach house for the month and I’m having some unfortunate health issues. I’m sorta down and out for the count. Trying to rest up and will call the doc on Monday, so, here I am… blogging takes very little physical energy. It’s raspberry month in our Portland garden! Blue Eyes was in … Continue reading Over Wendy’s dead body
When anger rears its ugly head
Our therapy appointment on Friday began with the therapist asking how I was getting along since my dad's passing. I told her it had only been a few days since his funeral, which had been overwhelming, but that I was doing pretty well as long as I don't watch the video someone took of all … Continue reading When anger rears its ugly head
Taking a little time
It's been a rough couple weeks. Processing my dad's death hasn't been easy, and then there was the graveside funeral and memorial luncheon less than a week ago. My dad touched a lot of lives, married into a huge family, had his own bunch of kids, nine of us, who then had 17 grandchildren, plus … Continue reading Taking a little time
I’m still in that box
My baby brother, the Listener, the one who works for us and knows everything, called my mobile phone last Thursday at about 1:30pm. He didn't beat around the bush. He said, "dad is gone." Even though I knew what was coming, the words still hit me with an awful force. It wasn't shock or surprise, … Continue reading I’m still in that box
On his own terms…
A few people have mentioned here and elsewhere how my dad lived life on his own terms. He lived that way, and then he died that way. Dad passed away last Thursday, February 6. He was stuck in the ICU for five weeks. No doubt it was torture for him. Before going into the hospital … Continue reading On his own terms…
The awakening
Photo credit: photoguy777.deviantart.com/art/Pink-Rose A few days ago I was looking for some paperwork I had carelessly tossed somewhere at some point probably as much as two years ago, and in that process I opened the upper left hand drawer of my desk. Inside that drawer is a desperate and depraved accounting of the first few … Continue reading The awakening
Everybody hurts… sometimes
Tomorrow is the five year anniversary of the day Blue Eyes' brother took his own life. Uncle D (as I will call him) was 43 years old. He was married to a young woman he had brought over from China for the purpose of making her his wife. Before hearing the story of how they met by Uncle … Continue reading Everybody hurts… sometimes
We are all in pain
If I ever thought I would run out of things to write for my blog, I was mistaken. Even if there is nothing interesting enough to write about going on in my life, other bloggers daily give me ideas of topics to write about. Every day I am either prompted by another’s blog topic, or … Continue reading We are all in pain
try not to cry on my rainbow 