Journal Entry: September 11, 2014 This term, “mind-blowing” sex has been ruminating in my head for months now. Today is the 8-month anniversary of dday. Early in my trauma journey, I read some blogs and articles by mistresses. I was trying to understand why women cheat with married men, especially single women seeking out married … Continue reading So, let’s talk about “mind blowing” sex
love after betrayal
Where my pain comes from today
Journal Entry: September 1, 2014 Today's thoughts to my husband: I can feel the time slipping away, like watching sand in an hourglass. Each day we get a little closer to the one year mark. I know you can feel it too. This is not the time to swoop in at the eleventh hour, to … Continue reading Where my pain comes from today
Healing hail storm
Journal Entry: August 18, 2014 This week we are in a high desert resort town a few hours from our house. We are gathered for a family reunion of my Dad's kids, there are nine of us total. All with our own families. Everyone is here except my BPD sister. She doesn't do well with … Continue reading Healing hail storm
A present day breakthrough
Yesterday I wrote a blog post that included a journal entry from this past August. I talked about how that day, August 14, was the one-year anniversary of the day my husband broke up with his eight-year affair partner on a drive home from a one-day business trip to a nearby city. Coincidentally, last night … Continue reading A present day breakthrough
Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight
Journal Entry: July 29, 2014 "Love and harmony combine, And around our souls entwine, While thy branches mix with mine, And our roots together join. Joys upon our branches sit, Chirping loud and singing sweet; Like gentle streams beneath our feet, Innocence and virtue meet." -William Blake Before I got married, my mother gave me … Continue reading Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight
Falling back in love with my husband
Journal Entry: July 7, 2014 After last night's mission, I now know that this other woman, my husband's last acting out partner, the alcoholic, hoarding whore (whore-der?), will never be able to sneak up on me (which was one of my fears). I will see this crazy looking woman coming from a mile away. There is … Continue reading Falling back in love with my husband
The Reconnaissance Mission
Journal Entry: July 6, 2014 I read somewhere that being a mistress felt like being a weed in someone else's rose garden, and that makes total sense to me! Since my husband has known the old alcoholic whore for what is now nine years, he is pretty aware of her schedule. He did not spend … Continue reading The Reconnaissance Mission
The celibacy fiasco
Journal Entry: June 29, 2014 This is it, the last day of my husband’s intensive therapy program. When Blue Eyes arrived at the peaceful spa pool at the resort where I was luxuriating in the 80+ degree weather, I knew immediately something was terribly wrong. He was supposed to have met me up at the … Continue reading The celibacy fiasco
I went to a sunshine yellow valley, and I was loved
Journal Entry: June 28, 2014 Saturday morning I woke up in my big comfy bed and realized, only one more day until I get my partner back. I am happy that this thought actually feels so good. Wanting to be back in my husband's arms brings feelings of warmth and comfort. While waiting for breakfast, I decided to … Continue reading I went to a sunshine yellow valley, and I was loved
Saying Good-bye
Journal Entry: June 20, 2014 I received a call yesterday from The Director of the Institute in Los Angeles that specializes in sex addiction treatment. I have met him once before, at my first trauma intensive appointment last month in Los Angeles. He's a pretty entertaining and charismatic guy, when he wants to be. He will … Continue reading Saying Good-bye
try not to cry on my rainbow 