Prior to d-day, Sunday mornings weren't really anything special. Like any other day, I got up when I felt like it, and Blue Eyes got up when he felt like it. When the kids were younger they had religious school on Sunday mornings, so one or both of us was up reasonably early to get … Continue reading Sunday mornings
lying husband
Revisiting my story
The story in my head plays out. I am a happily married 50-year old woman with two amazing and mostly grown sons. My husband and I have been best friends and partners for 30 years. We share everything. We are passionate, loving, kind, and show each other mutual respect, until I realize, one of us … Continue reading Revisiting my story
Like a dog with a bone
That's me. A dog. With a bone. Mean comments give me the opportunity to purge, and apparently I am not done venting yet. When someone denies my husband's sex addiction diagnosis, it doesn't make me question his addiction, it makes me question the motives of the denier, but it also causes me to think about just … Continue reading Like a dog with a bone
My challenge with blogging
We're still in Japan, having a wonderful time, but that doesn't mean I don't think about the betrayal. There are so many triggers everywhere. Those who read my blog know what I have been going through the past 22 months. First there was discovery, a harrowing phone call and all the revelations that followed regarding my … Continue reading My challenge with blogging
Just getting by
We're in Tokyo. Me, Blue Eyes, our two boys, and my parents, all here for the Princesse's first birthday. I'm pretty sure my brother (GQ) and his wife are thrilled we have all come here for this great occasion as they are paranoid about taking their little girl on a plane. They're not so much … Continue reading Just getting by
The good news, or the bad news?
What would you like first? Well, I have chosen to go with the bad first. The good will come next. I always choose bad news first, when given a choice. We returned last night from our five day anniversary trip to Victoria, British Columbia. On the trip, a couple of things were obvious. First, I … Continue reading The good news, or the bad news?
26 years
As of about 8:00pm tonight (U.S.-West Coast time), we will have accomplished 26 years of marriage. We were together for nearly five years prior to getting married, so that is a long time to put your faith and trust into one person. You would think the longer a couple is together, the easier marriage would … Continue reading 26 years
At the end of the day…
I never thought I would be sharing these words. As a matter of fact, 19 months ago I would not have said I had ever been stabbed in the back. But, in fact, I have. I have been lied to and betrayed and left to heal alone by the person I relied on most for safety and security. … Continue reading At the end of the day…
Broken
A few days ago I got a call from our yard maintenance guy. He is an older fellow, maybe 70 and he has injured his knee. He decided he will no longer be able to engage in his retirement "hobby" of yard maintenance for extra money. I am so sad. I'm sad he injured himself, … Continue reading Broken
A mountain of fear
Here is my dilemma. My current and evolving story is about betrayal and subsequent trauma. Blue Eyes's story is about addiction. His story has been about addiction all along. We have both been hurt. But I did not perpetrate hurt on anyone. My marriage was not struggling. Although my husband did work, at lot, he was not … Continue reading A mountain of fear
try not to cry on my rainbow 