Journal Entry: July 13, 2014 I cannot even count the number of times my husband has been in the hospital since I have known him. The first night we "slept together" he left for the hospital the next day. We were 20 years old, and sleeping together, in his single dorm room, turned out to be a lot … Continue reading Hospitals, our home away from home
marital indiscretions
Flirting with triggers, again
Journal Entry: November 25, 2014 I fear that if I don't intersperse some present day posts in here, I will never get caught up to current with this blog. Dday was January 11, 2014. My husband's jilted "mistress" called my mobile phone and I think assumed she would break up my marriage so she could … Continue reading Flirting with triggers, again
Falling back in love with my husband
Journal Entry: July 7, 2014 After last night's mission, I now know that this other woman, my husband's last acting out partner, the alcoholic, hoarding whore (whore-der?), will never be able to sneak up on me (which was one of my fears). I will see this crazy looking woman coming from a mile away. There is … Continue reading Falling back in love with my husband
The Reconnaissance Mission
Journal Entry: July 6, 2014 I read somewhere that being a mistress felt like being a weed in someone else's rose garden, and that makes total sense to me! Since my husband has known the old alcoholic whore for what is now nine years, he is pretty aware of her schedule. He did not spend … Continue reading The Reconnaissance Mission
Bursting Bubbles
Journal Entry: July 5, 2014 During my phone conversation with The Director a couple weeks ago, before my husband’s 9-day, he asked me some questions about Blue Eyes’ habits. He asked me to categorize my husband’s acting out behaviors as I now see them. These would all be behaviors I knew nothing about until six … Continue reading Bursting Bubbles
A wife’s worst nightmare
Journal Entry: Monday, June 30, 2014 I was sitting on the toilet in a gorgeous tile bathroom at the Four Seasons Biltmore Santa Barbara. Blue Eyes was standing at one of the sinks, shaving. As I looked at him from my vulnerable spot, I realized he had probably shared these same strangely intimate moments with … Continue reading A wife’s worst nightmare
The celibacy fiasco
Journal Entry: June 29, 2014 This is it, the last day of my husband’s intensive therapy program. When Blue Eyes arrived at the peaceful spa pool at the resort where I was luxuriating in the 80+ degree weather, I knew immediately something was terribly wrong. He was supposed to have met me up at the … Continue reading The celibacy fiasco
Hey, I miss the other women
So, after yesterday's incredibly long post, I decided to post a shorter entry, present day, to kind of mix things up. In the past week, I started following two new bloggers and I found their stories incredibly interesting. One of them, sort of sitting on the edge of my seat waiting to see what was going … Continue reading Hey, I miss the other women
Thoughts for the day
Journal Entry: June 26, 2014 I have been away from my husband for seven days now. He finally got his act together and started calling and/or texting at the agreed upon times, which has helped my anxiety. Sometimes I sleep through his morning texts and sometimes I am in my own therapy session during his … Continue reading Thoughts for the day
Cleaning the closet with PTSD
Journal Entry: June 21, 2014 Last night I could not get to sleep without my husband. Since it was a travel day and not officially a workshop day, he was available to talk with me, and call me, and text me as much as he wanted. And he did. Mostly, I was busy with D … Continue reading Cleaning the closet with PTSD
try not to cry on my rainbow 