Journal Entry: November 7, 2014 "One foot in front of the other. Keep breathing just like they taught you. You politely ask to take a walk with me. I would have married you there underneath the trees. Is it real, this thing? Is it real, ooooh, this thing? When you sleep. I could make you … Continue reading I watched him sleep
marriage
Saving a marriage
Journal Entry: November 5, 2014 You know how they say a marriage can be better after an affair… Yeah, I thought it sounded like a bunch of bullshit to me too. Ten months ago I cried and screamed that there was no way my marriage could be saved, much less be better. Some days I … Continue reading Saving a marriage
The stalker whore makes an appearance
Tonight I have a number of other journal entries to post from our recent trip to Hawaii, as it turned out to be full of triggers and trauma, with some breakthroughs along the way, and I do want to share those. However, we just returned home and I am exhausted, depleted, anxious, and feeling sick... and … Continue reading The stalker whore makes an appearance
The Golden Rule
As I sit here in paradise, it is obvious to me that the trauma symptoms from betrayal know no bounds. It doesn't matter how gorgeous the weather, or how blue the ocean waters, or how vibrant the tropical flowers, or how amazing the view is from the bathtub in our room, trauma is here, permeating … Continue reading The Golden Rule
So, let’s talk about “mind blowing” sex
Journal Entry: September 11, 2014 This term, “mind-blowing” sex has been ruminating in my head for months now. Today is the 8-month anniversary of dday. Early in my trauma journey, I read some blogs and articles by mistresses. I was trying to understand why women cheat with married men, especially single women seeking out married … Continue reading So, let’s talk about “mind blowing” sex
A present day breakthrough
Yesterday I wrote a blog post that included a journal entry from this past August. I talked about how that day, August 14, was the one-year anniversary of the day my husband broke up with his eight-year affair partner on a drive home from a one-day business trip to a nearby city. Coincidentally, last night … Continue reading A present day breakthrough
Heartbroken
Journal Entry: August 14, 2014 Today is another trigger filled day. Today is the one year anniversary of the last day my husband saw Camilla. They did not have sex. He had meetings out of town in a large city three hours away by car. From the phone records, I know they had been texting … Continue reading Heartbroken
Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight
Journal Entry: July 29, 2014 "Love and harmony combine, And around our souls entwine, While thy branches mix with mine, And our roots together join. Joys upon our branches sit, Chirping loud and singing sweet; Like gentle streams beneath our feet, Innocence and virtue meet." -William Blake Before I got married, my mother gave me … Continue reading Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight
try not to cry on my rainbow 