POST #500 As I was responding to a comment by Spouse of a Sex Addict from my last post, it triggered a memory from arbitration. As mentioned, arbitration week was hell. We listened to the contractor on our beach house construction project lie, repeatedly. He spoke softly and gently and made it look like he … Continue reading Mind blown 🤯
survival after addiction
It still happens
As previously mentioned, yesterday was Blue Eyes' Birthday. We're on vacation. I knew he would need to do some work on this trip because we had arbitration last week, which put us both behind, AND, he can't take a 10-day vacation these days without working. Sad to some, not sad to us. We're short handed … Continue reading It still happens
Why…
The question with answers that don't make sense to someone who would never betray their partner. To someone who isn't an addict and doesn't have the need to fill such deep, destructive holes, nothing really makes sense. Blue Eyes did a pretty good job of reflecting on the question that has been asked by me … Continue reading Why…
I knew it wasn’t perfect
It was Sunday morning of this past holiday weekend and I was triggered by something, I don't quite remember. It wasn't so much debilitating as it was distracting. Those feelings of not knowing, of my instincts being totally off, for years. Of him telling me about Ashley, the first, how she had worked years before … Continue reading I knew it wasn’t perfect
Moving on
Street Art at Wynwood Walls, Miami Disclaimer: I wrote this post as the third in the trilogy of 'I woke up to nothing' posts. I'm over those feelings now, but March included a couple of really difficult weeks. The sadness even spilled over into our business trip to Paris, but again, I'm doing better. I'm … Continue reading Moving on
Paradise
Last month we spent nine days in Hawaii. Mostly I wanted to just relax, bask in the sunshine, walk along the beach, devour afternoon snacks by the pool. We didn't have a rental car and weren't near any actual town, just in a resort area, so we stayed put, all nine days. Paradise! Since we … Continue reading Paradise
It’s tomorrow
Yeah, per how I left yesterday's post, it's tomorrow and I'm dealing with it and I realized how off I am. Discovery day was January 11, 2014. Somehow I thought yesterday was the 11th? Well here in the United States of America TODAY is January 11th. I really only had one D-day. There was a … Continue reading It’s tomorrow
Here’s where it gets sticky
I've written numerous times here of my support of the 12 step program for addicts, especially sex addicts. I have read numerous blog entries over the years from people whose opinion differs from mine. I get it. I have actually never been to a 12 step meeting, of any kind, so why would I think … Continue reading Here’s where it gets sticky
The letter
Two years ago I asked Blue Eyes to write a letter to the other woman as part of his ninth step. For reasons that have been discussed many times on my blog the letter was not and will never be sent to the other woman. I do believe this letter catapulted my healing in a … Continue reading The letter
Did I forget to say how great my husband is?
It seems to me that ever since I wrote the post about Control and the photo of the other woman, I have felt a weird vibe here on the old blog. First let me get this off my chest. My husband has his own path. He is a recovering sex addict. His recovery includes counseling, … Continue reading Did I forget to say how great my husband is?
try not to cry on my rainbow 