The sex addict world of betrayal may in fact be a bit different (or a lot different) from the average infidelity nightmare. Sex addicts are not out shopping for a new spouse with their sexual indiscretions. Often an SA's destructive behaviors have gone on for years and included any number of secret sexual activities. The … Continue reading Assumptions
True Story. As Blue Eyes and I were packing up at our midtown NYC hotel room this past Sunday I received a distressing phone call from a friend. I was already stressed out as the front desk staff and the housekeeping staff were having major communication issues and even though we have a guaranteed 2pm … Continue reading It’s complicated
The question with answers that don't make sense to someone who would never betray their partner. To someone who isn't an addict and doesn't have the need to fill such deep, destructive holes, nothing really makes sense. Blue Eyes did a pretty good job of reflecting on the question that has been asked by me … Continue reading Why…
I’m currently on a plane to San Francisco to spend a long weekend with Blue Eyes, being touristy. We’ve been to the Bay Area dozens of times, Blue Eyes was actually born just outside the city, but this time I wanted to do a couple walking tours, Chinatown and Little Italy... some history, some food, … Continue reading Strong a.f.
Jack Kornfield said, “At the end of life, our questions are very simple: Did I live fully? Did I love well?” I've always held my husband completely accountable for all the lies, all the cheating, all the betrayal. Forgiveness came fairly easy to me (perhaps too easy). I don't hold hate and resentment in my … Continue reading I woke up to nothing, part one
Possibly been sticking my head where it doesn't belong again, and getting my panties in a wad. For those of us who have been in long term marriages, or intimate partnerships, we know it's not all sweetness and light. It's not all romance and sexy time. In fact, it's mostly not about that at all. … Continue reading Rationalization 201
I sent something very similar to the above to my husband very early on in our healing. I asked him to think before he spoke. A lot of times he didn't speak at all. I did all the talking and it was oh so frustrating. I cried out my truth, my pain, my agony every … Continue reading Cheap studio apartment for one, please
I've done it again. I have to say this is one of the main reasons I don't follow a lot of blogs. I was reading a blog by a betrayed spouse and I looked down her 'Blogs I read' list (of course this is absolutely 100% my own fault) and noticed multiple blogs written by … Continue reading But why?
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/04/06/style/modern-love-sleeping-with-married-men-infidelity.html After one of my favorite exercise classes this morning I was in a super good mood. I picked up my mobile phone to check the weather for this afternoon and accidentally hit the News app icon with my clumsy fingers. The above Times article blasted across my screen. I read it. Of course I did. … Continue reading Rationalization 101
I've been away for a while. No real reason other than I have been busy and also dealing with some health issues. Sometimes no matter what we do, our aging bodies fail us. I started insulin last night for my diabetes, but that is a story for a different day. Today I'm talking about the … Continue reading I understand why they leave