The reason I know I cannot change my husband, I cannot make him better, I cannot heal him in any way, is because I have been here all along. If it was my job to heal him, I would have done it already. If my presence was enough to make him the man he wants … Continue reading We all need a path out
married to a sex addict
Anonymous
Anonymity is generally coveted on betrayed spouse blogs. Some of us are protecting the reputations of our husbands, because we want to. Because we believe in them and their ability to overcome whatever it was that drove them to their wretched cheating behavior in the first place. And if it is not their reputation we … Continue reading Anonymous
Travelogue: Tokyo
So, as much as I tried to stay mad at Blue Eyes (not really... I don't try to stay mad at anyone) it is impossible to stay sad or mad in Japan. It just is. It is so strange here and I really cannot walk five steps without going, WTF? But in a good way, … Continue reading Travelogue: Tokyo
Living in denial
Blue Eyes is now three years sober. He will receive his three year sobriety chip at his next Sexaholics Anonymous meeting. His official self proclaimed sobriety date is December 11, 2013. His last date of acting out with the other woman was July 30, 2013. His sobriety date corresponds with the day he decided for himself … Continue reading Living in denial
I’ve made a lot of excuses
As much as I would love to say I am just pleasantly plump, or a little chubby, I have a lot of fat on my body. I teeter between overweight and obese, per all those handy BMI calculators. For me to give this diabetes control situation a chance, I need to get into the normal … Continue reading I’ve made a lot of excuses
I’m a control freak
Oh, I know I am, a control freak. I am also obsessive compulsive. I won't go into the details, because they are not all that pretty, but I am. Although I think control freak has a pretty negative connotation in our world, I also think my personality has served me well in the healing process. Blue Eyes' … Continue reading I’m a control freak
We know it’s not our fault
The very last thing I did before the appraisal person arrived at our house last week, was make one last run through of The Peacemaker's bedroom and make his bed the way it was intended to be made. He was grumbling upstairs about where was he supposed to go while the appraiser was here. The appraisal … Continue reading We know it’s not our fault
Who knows the truth
After Blue Eyes' disclosures of his secret life and subsequent diagnosis as a sex addict, I kinda wanted everyone to know the truth. I'm not exactly sure why. Eventually I know I wanted people to understand sex addiction. I want it brought out of the darkness and into the light so people will know they … Continue reading Who knows the truth
Just a few tear drops
So, enough about sex addiction... just kidding. What would my life be like without sex addiction? I wouldn't even have this freakin' blog. We had an amazing anniversary trip to the coast last weekend. It was relaxing and invigorating and on the morning after our anniversary, we even went into our new beach house great … Continue reading Just a few tear drops
And while I’m on the topic…
Looking for something else, I came across this approximately five year old Newsweek article regarding sex addiction, which I had seen oh so many months ago. The Sex Addiction Epidemic In re-reading through the article, I had an "aha" moment. Honestly, in the case of me and Blue Eyes, post discovery mid January 2014, I … Continue reading And while I’m on the topic…
try not to cry on my rainbow 