Malibu, Photo Credit: Jenna Day There's a piece of me that belongs to Los Angeles. I'm a west coast girl and have been visiting LA since long before I met my husband, and I met him at 20! Blue Eyes is from The San Fernando Valley, just northwest of Los Angeles proper. He's a "Valley … Continue reading Everything I need
sex addict recovery
A night out with the in-laws
Father-in-law chose the place and time. Dinner at an Italian Restaurant in Los Angeles at 7:00pm. We decided to take an Uber to avoid driving in LA rush hour traffic. We arrived about 15 minutes early. The restaurant was, shall I say, a throw back to a different era. We recently watched the excruciatingly long … Continue reading A night out with the in-laws
Here we go…
Just when I started acclimating to the idea that we will be paying hundreds of thousands of dollars of money to a lying building contractor and his bully of an attorney, Blue Eyes has decided to "reconcile" with his parents. WHAT??? He has been talking about sending them a letter for a while. I've written … Continue reading Here we go…
Adulting is hard
Columbia River Gorge I've been a little down lately. Not sure if it is the change of seasons, change of clocks, change of scenery, or what. Pretty sure it's not change of seasons as Autumn is my favorite and our weather here in the Pacific Northwest has been glorious. Probably not change of clocks. I'm … Continue reading Adulting is hard
Mind blown 🤯
POST #500 As I was responding to a comment by Spouse of a Sex Addict from my last post, it triggered a memory from arbitration. As mentioned, arbitration week was hell. We listened to the contractor on our beach house construction project lie, repeatedly. He spoke softly and gently and made it look like he … Continue reading Mind blown 🤯
It still happens
As previously mentioned, yesterday was Blue Eyes' Birthday. We're on vacation. I knew he would need to do some work on this trip because we had arbitration last week, which put us both behind, AND, he can't take a 10-day vacation these days without working. Sad to some, not sad to us. We're short handed … Continue reading It still happens
Five Years
WordPress just wished me a Happy Anniversary. It's been five years since I started this blog. This story began with a phone call. That phone call was from a woman who wanted to punish me for my husband's bad acts. Discovery Day: January 11, 2014. That's the day I started ferociously journaling, attempting to off … Continue reading Five Years
Integrity
So, it's been written over and over that sex addiction isn't really about sex, just like alcoholism isn't really about the brand of alcohol a person likes to drink. Addiction is about medicating wounds, trauma, mental illness, about filling the void and feeling better in the moment, even if that moment is ever so brief. … Continue reading Integrity
Two stepping
In a comment Blue Eyes made on the My identity post a few days ago, he wrote "I am not a two stepper." I had no idea what a "two stepper" was in relation to addiction. So I asked him what it meant to him, then I looked it up (to see what it meant to others). … Continue reading Two stepping
My identity
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sIaT8Jl2zpI It's no secret that I am not a religious person. My spirituality comes from within. My strength comes from knowing I am a good person. It's also no secret that I listen to Top 40 music. I have a huge playlist on my iTunes that crosses every genre, but I never remember to set … Continue reading My identity
try not to cry on my rainbow 