I was now a college graduate and ready to face a new adventure: my first real job. Oh, I had had an actual full time job before, but now I felt like an honest to goodness adult. I was 25 years-old. The job I would garner post university diploma actually initially held far less responsibility than … Continue reading Just another love story. Part thirteen: California and a wedding
Nobody said it was easy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RB-RcX5DS5A Living with an addict, is hard. Living with an unrecovered addict is a bitch and half. I have done that and I don't want to ever do it again. Blue Eyes is a recovering addict. He wants to be a better man. He wants to change what is broken. He wants to heal. He … Continue reading Nobody said it was easy
Seeking happiness
Even after all I have shared here, I consider this post to be one of the most difficult to write. This blog entry is being prompted by current happenings in our little family, and also by blogs and other articles I have read over the past two years, some as recently as yesterday. Our younger son … Continue reading Seeking happiness
Comfort foods
November was a doozy of a month really. So much going on, and by the end the weather was feeling much more winter than fall. A trip to Japan, turkey day, anesthesia anxiety, and a few illnesses thrown in for good measure made the month more exciting than I would have liked. Blue Eyes and … Continue reading Comfort foods
Amends, part two
December 3, 2015 Later that evening... I knew I was going to do what I did, I just really really wished Blue Eyes had taken our discussion in the morning and done more with it. I wish it had mattered enough for him, that he had taken a good look at that step eight amends … Continue reading Amends, part two
Amends, part one
December 3, 2015 And just when you think he gets it... Blue Eyes is working his step nine: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. (sa.org) Step eight was making the list (I always thought step eight was the making amends step), but step nine … Continue reading Amends, part one
I did it
I made it through that fucking colonoscopy like a champion. Ha, I am patting myself on the back, obviously, for something thousands of people do every single day without complaining. A routine procedure, if you will. The thing is though, I never realized before how toxic trauma can really be. I never realized simple fears could … Continue reading I did it
The land of the rising sun
I am finally over the jet lag from our latest trip to Japan. It took quite a few sleepy days and a couple mostly sleepless nights, but yes, we're home and we're sane again. When we left I was wearing sandals... not any more, it's definitely time to pull out the wellies and the mittens. Thanksgiving has … Continue reading The land of the rising sun
Some days
I let the hot water wash over me in the shower this morning, and as I watched the steam float slowly to the ceiling, I wrote these words in my head. The feelings were strong in me. The desire to flee, the desire to be free, the desire to be alone. As if they were … Continue reading Some days
Sunday mornings
Prior to d-day, Sunday mornings weren't really anything special. Like any other day, I got up when I felt like it, and Blue Eyes got up when he felt like it. When the kids were younger they had religious school on Sunday mornings, so one or both of us was up reasonably early to get … Continue reading Sunday mornings
try not to cry on my rainbow 