I’m giving myself permission to feel really shitty today. I’m tired. I’m burnt out. I want more happiness in my life. The tears are welling up in the corners of my eyes right now, threatening to spill over, and it’s okay. My chest is tight. I feel like I want to run away. I’m in … Continue reading It’s okay to feel really bad some days
betrayed wife
Finding my place to land
I’m not sure what’s going on with me or why writing hasn’t been a priority in my life, but alas, I am back and with the goal of writing more often because, I do enjoy it. I meant to do this post yesterday, and the day before, and nearly every day before that for…. months? … Continue reading Finding my place to land
Assumptions
The sex addict world of betrayal may in fact be a bit different (or a lot different) from the average infidelity nightmare. Sex addicts are not out shopping for a new spouse with their sexual indiscretions. Often an SA's destructive behaviors have gone on for years and included any number of secret sexual activities. The … Continue reading Assumptions
Cheap studio apartment for one, please
I sent something very similar to the above to my husband very early on in our healing. I asked him to think before he spoke. A lot of times he didn't speak at all. I did all the talking and it was oh so frustrating. I cried out my truth, my pain, my agony every … Continue reading Cheap studio apartment for one, please
Betrayal doesn’t define me
Although my husband is a diagnosed sex addict, he is also a cheater. When I first found out about his cheating, I had no idea he was a sex addict or that such a thing was even real. There were a lot of revelations on his part over those first few days, and an obvious … Continue reading Betrayal doesn’t define me
Family
The end of each year, from Thanksgiving to New Years Day, brings with it a lot of family time for pretty much everyone we know. For the first couple of years of recovery, this family time was fraught with trauma and anxiety. Some people know about Blue Eyes' secret life, but many do not. I … Continue reading Family
Just in case you thought my life was all glamour and bliss…
or that I am perfect, or whatever, I'm here to set the record straight. Ha ha ha, of course I am not perfect. No one is perfect, and I am far far from it. I was doing my monthly check in, google search, etc... of my little family and for the first time in a … Continue reading Just in case you thought my life was all glamour and bliss…
Where happiness grows
“When your heart is broken, you plant seeds in the cracks and pray for rain.” ― Andrea Gibson Three and a half years ago I wrote a journal entry and when I posted it on my blog in November, 2014, I titled it: Planting the seeds and I end the post with... I am cracked, but I … Continue reading Where happiness grows
I’m saying those words
The words I swore I never wanted to hear again. The words that pissed me off, and confused me, and made me think people just didn't get what I was going through. The words that made me want to scream. Now I'm saying them too. I hear those words coming out of my mouth, and … Continue reading I’m saying those words
Some people will never get it
Some people, a lot of people actually, will never really get what it feels like to be betrayed by the person they love most. And truthfully, I am glad they never will have to feel that gut wrenching pain. It does not feel good, in any way. It is devastating. It changes us forever. So that … Continue reading Some people will never get it
try not to cry on my rainbow 