Yesterday I visited my favorite “downtown Ojai” interiors store. I put downtown in quotes because Ojai is a very small town. Barely 8,000 residents, but it has lots going for it, like great shopping (albeit expensive), yummy restaurants, lots of fun events like the Memorial Weekend Arts Fair, a juniors tennis tournament, music festivals, two … Continue reading Another day, another cheater
finding happiness
It’s been 10 years….
January Camellias in Ojai Ten years since the phone call. Ten years of recovery and sobriety for Blue Eyes. Ten years of pain for me. The ten year anniversary of the phone call (8 days ago) was spent hiking to a snowy waterfall in Dunsmuir, CA and eating smash burgers with The Peacemaker, my forever … Continue reading It’s been 10 years….
Cheers to 2023! 🥂
I know, it’s cliche, but Happy New Year y’all. Every year is filled with good and bad, happy and sad, births and deaths, love and hate, triumphs and tribulations. I’m wishing everyone more good than bad. All love, no hate. I’m hoping to continue learning valuable lessons about myself and continuing to grow more wise. … Continue reading Cheers to 2023! 🥂
It’s okay to feel really bad some days
I’m giving myself permission to feel really shitty today. I’m tired. I’m burnt out. I want more happiness in my life. The tears are welling up in the corners of my eyes right now, threatening to spill over, and it’s okay. My chest is tight. I feel like I want to run away. I’m in … Continue reading It’s okay to feel really bad some days
Do you wonder why I run away
This is really a post to my husband. A post out of utter frustration to my 8 1/2 years sober sex addict husband. I would talk to him face to face, but he’s too busy working, at 11:30pm. At diagnosis Blue Eyes acknowledged who and what he was and started on his recovery journey… a … Continue reading Do you wonder why I run away
That time I got the shingles
I had a stressful summer. I’ve been trying to de-stress by doing some things I enjoy, The Peacemaker gifted me a landscape painting class for Mother’s Day. I diligently attended the online classes, but then all hell broke loose with my sister and I never actually completed the assignment for that class. It’s still on … Continue reading That time I got the shingles
Finding my place to land
I’m not sure what’s going on with me or why writing hasn’t been a priority in my life, but alas, I am back and with the goal of writing more often because, I do enjoy it. I meant to do this post yesterday, and the day before, and nearly every day before that for…. months? … Continue reading Finding my place to land
Hyper sensitivity
These thoughts have been swirling around in my head for a while now. Not sure any of this will make a whole lot of sense. They weren't prompted by any one person, or any one recent incident, but merely a conglomeration of things that have been happening in my life, things I have read on … Continue reading Hyper sensitivity
Let me be clear
Blue Eyes reads this blog. Every entry, and most comments. I am always bluntly honest with my feelings, the feelings I am feeling at the time I sit down to write. Feelings change, people change (yes, they do), but I guess what I am saying is, what you read here is the real deal. This … Continue reading Let me be clear
Lost identity
In the shower this morning I realized I am having an identity crisis. I have written so much here on my blog. I have spilled out who I am, what has happened to me both before and after I found out about my husband's secret life, how I feel about addiction, how I feel about … Continue reading Lost identity