It is Blue Eyes' birthday today. Yep, he made it another year. Astonishing. 😉 And in even bigger news, we have a new master bathroom. Yippee!!! October 1996 (before move in and first remodel): Before, photo taken February 2010 (after having lived with the "new" bath for almost 14 years): A few of the reasons we … Continue reading Celebrations
finding happiness
I hate effing roller coasters
Sorry, I don't meet the height requirement to ride your emotional roller coaster. I have been having some lovely conversations lately with a couple of betrayed spouse blogger friends. I really do cherish these relationships... I'm pretty sure they know that, because I tell them all the time. As we all struggle through, with very … Continue reading I hate effing roller coasters
My day in the big apple
Arriving JFK I am doing better in terms of my healing. It might be difficult to tell since I have not been writing as much. I love to write, so I am not quite sure why the big breaks from blogging. Perhaps just the nature of the blog. I started it to write out my pain, … Continue reading My day in the big apple
Note to self
Stay the course! Jackson Lake, Grand Teton National Park, Wyoming Be positive. Stay positive. Don't let the messed up world we live in get me down. Remember my blessings. Always remember to be good and kind. Remember I am unique and my situation is unique and my marriage is unique. I love my husband. He … Continue reading Note to self
Revisiting empathy
Playing with color: An interpretation of my view, 16" x 20", oil on canvas Progress not perfection, is a running theme around our house. A conversation amongst betrayed spouses this morning regarding empathy made me think of, well, a bunch of my blog entries, but specifically this one:Â And then it all went to s*%t. That … Continue reading Revisiting empathy
Protecting my heart
After hours and hours of individual trauma therapy, one of the pivotal pieces of advice I ostensibly came away with was that I needed to take better care of myself. I needed to focus more on what truly makes me a whole person and not focus so much on the needs of others. I had done … Continue reading Protecting my heart
Ocean Waters
'Blue Ocean Waters', 12" x 12", oil on canvas Blue Eyes and I watched an episode of the Netflix series 'Chef's Table' a couple weeks ago. I think we began at the end in that I wanted to specifically watch the story about New Zealand chef Ben Shewry, who now runs the kitchen at Attica Restaurant … Continue reading Ocean Waters
Showers
As I stood in the shower this morning, going about the usual routine of washing and conditioning my hair, cleansing my body, shaving my legs, activities that don't require much thought, I realized in my mind I was planning the day ahead. I was thinking about what was on the schedule. I had spoken to … Continue reading Showers
Shame
When I first saw the above "quote," I immediately thought of my husband. He was the one denying his real story and acting out and rationalizing and compartmentalizing. Denial was his best friend. I do believe he can embrace his own story, every last little sordid detail of it, the good, the bad, the ugly. I … Continue reading Shame
Take me away
Sunday's "take me away" painting, 16" x 20", oil on canvas Not sure why Sundays are so difficult for me, but considering how many times I have written about it, it is a real thing. I am actually looking forward to Mondays these days as we get back on a schedule. Sundays should feel open … Continue reading Take me away
try not to cry on my rainbow 