As I stood in the shower this morning, going about the usual routine of washing and conditioning my hair, cleansing my body, shaving my legs, activities that don't require much thought, I realized in my mind I was planning the day ahead. I was thinking about what was on the schedule. I had spoken to … Continue reading Showers
marriage
At the end of the day…
I never thought I would be sharing these words. As a matter of fact, 19 months ago I would not have said I had ever been stabbed in the back. But, in fact, I have. I have been lied to and betrayed and left to heal alone by the person I relied on most for safety and security. … Continue reading At the end of the day…
A chance at happily ever after
I'm going to give myself closure on the discussion of Blue Eyes' fifth step. It's time to put the whole thing to bed. As I was nearly done with my blog entry late yesterday afternoon, Blue Eyes returned from his sponsor's house. There was no text when he left the guy's house. Leaving texts or calling … Continue reading A chance at happily ever after
Why didn’t I think of me
I have been writing a lot about Blue Eyes and his fourth step (that searching and fearless moral inventory, the one that Blue Eyes completed a few weeks ago and which is pages and pages and pages long) and fifth step (admitted to God, to themselves, and to another human being the exact nature of … Continue reading Why didn’t I think of me
Torn
Best laid plans, and all. For the fourth, we were set to drive up north for the big family picnic and barbecue, and we even drove almost half way there before I realized I had forgotten my medications, which include high blood pressure meds, and birth control pills. Two things I need to take on time. … Continue reading Torn
Why I stay
I have seen this saying floating around the web for a while, and I like it for the sole reason that it makes me think. It speaks to the question of whether people can change, or not. I don't think who we "really" are is a stagnant concept. I don't believe we come into this world … Continue reading Why I stay
A desperate need for structure
As previously mentioned, a separation period has been discussed. I had suggested starting with three months. When Blue Eyes asked me when I wanted to start the separation I said, "I don't." He seemed confused. I explained to him that when I spoke of a separation, I wanted him to know how I thought it would … Continue reading A desperate need for structure
The blog of me
Photo: my favorite tea cup from my collection, and my favorite macarons from my favorite local bakery. Disclaimer: this photo was not taken recently. I am not sitting here eating a pile of french macarons. 🙂 I guess I am in some kind of hella writing mood today, this week, this month? Blue Eyes and … Continue reading The blog of me
I am the wife
I am heading off to a painting workshop in Southern California. I am a little anxious as I will be painting outside (plein air) and I will be working with acrylics. I have never painted in acrylics before, only oils and watercolors. I am reaching outside my comfort zone and I am also very excited. … Continue reading I am the wife
“I know how difficult it must be…”
UGH. So what I really wanted to be doing while Blue Eyes is at his weekly Buddhist Meditation Meeting is writing another post about Paris, or even writing a post about how wonderful the recipe turned out that I tried for dinner tonight. The plantain tostadas with chipotle ranchero sauce, cilantro citrus marinated chicken, guacamole, … Continue reading “I know how difficult it must be…”
try not to cry on my rainbow 