Journal Entry: May 22, 2014 I’m having a shitty evening. On our way to dinner, my mobile phone was ringing in my purse. I dug it out and there she was, the whore, calling me again. Honestly, I know this woman was needy and empty and my husband pursued sex with her and if it … Continue reading Put it all in a box and hide it away
mistress
I did not leave tonight
Journal Entry: May 10, 2014 "It's not the load that breaks you, it's the way you carry it." -Lena Horne Days have gone by since I have written in my journal. This is not a good sign. I knew this day would arrive eventually. I’m pretty sure it will go down as the second most destructive … Continue reading I did not leave tonight
The darkness
Journal Entry: April 27, 2014 “I remained too much inside my head and ended up losing my mind” -Edgar Allen Poe Every day I try and trudge through the monotony of my new existence. Every day I feel the same feelings of despair and loneliness. I am making some progress. Many times I am able … Continue reading The darkness
Today I want to gut the bitch
Journal Entry: April 23, 2014 Warning: this is a venting post. I do not normally just vent with all the words and hate that go along with that, but today, today I need this. This is going to be a full on rant. I have to get it OUT!!! I feel better already. As my … Continue reading Today I want to gut the bitch
I am alone.
Journal Entry: April 21, 2014 What to do with myself? I never thought much about it four months ago. My husband traveled a lot over the past 20 years. I was alone a lot. For years I had the boys. They were the best company. I love them with everything that I am and have … Continue reading I am alone.
Contact with the other woman
Journal Entry: April 18, 2014 We returned from our cruise vacation a few days ago and we are both sick. I am physically sick with an upper respiratory infection, and I am also very sick, and tired, of my husband’s last acting out partner calling our phones. She had called both our mobile phones numerous … Continue reading Contact with the other woman
Planting the seeds
Journal Entry: April 2, 2014 “When your heart is broken, you plant seeds in the cracks and pray for rain.” ― Andrea Gibson We are still on our cruise. On one hand I feel isolated, and on the other, I feel smothered. Remind me never to go on a cruise again. I have always loved the … Continue reading Planting the seeds
A very long letter to the delusional, hoarding, alcoholic whore who thinks my husband gives a damn about her!
Journal Entry: Sunday, March 2, 2014, 7:40pm About six weeks ago I wrote a letter to my husband's acting out partner. I know I am not supposed to have any contact with this horrible woman who calls my phone all the time but does not leave a message. She blocks her number so that I … Continue reading A very long letter to the delusional, hoarding, alcoholic whore who thinks my husband gives a damn about her!
A downward spiral into my abyss
Journal Entry: Valentine's Day, 2014 I now hate Valentine's day. While we were in Hawaii, I was obsessing about the acting out partner and why anyone would want such a dysfunctional, vacuous relationship. I went on and on about how she never got to spend any real time with him, how could she possibly think … Continue reading A downward spiral into my abyss
OMG, are you effing kidding me…
Journal Entry: February 6 & 7, 2014 Last night, we departed our comfy hammock in the grass hand in hand beneath an amazing star filled sky. We walked back to our gorgeous room overlooking the ocean, and made love. My arms hurt like hell, but my heart soared. I actually got a few hours sleep and … Continue reading OMG, are you effing kidding me…
try not to cry on my rainbow 