Journal Entry: Friday, February 28, 2014 "Somewhere between right and wrong is a garden; I'll meet you there." Rumi My husband has been officially diagnosed as a sex addict. He has a new therapist who specializes in this type of addiction. We now have a total of four therapists between us. I cannot describe how … Continue reading You expect me to believe this is addiction?
trauma
A downward spiral into my abyss
Journal Entry: Valentine's Day, 2014 I now hate Valentine's day. While we were in Hawaii, I was obsessing about the acting out partner and why anyone would want such a dysfunctional, vacuous relationship. I went on and on about how she never got to spend any real time with him, how could she possibly think … Continue reading A downward spiral into my abyss
triggers and glimmers
Journal Entry: February 2, 2014 We got on a plane together for the first time since I found out my husband has been cheating for 15 years and taking his mistress on business trips for the past 5 years. I asked him how he was able to take his mistress on ten trips over the past … Continue reading triggers and glimmers
Please make it stop
Journal Entry: Sunday, January 26, 2014 "You were the lightning, and I was the tree. Your words were the fire, burning the best parts of me." MMH We have a visitor. He is a friend of my husband who is also a client. He has been living in the U.S. for a few years now. … Continue reading Please make it stop
If Facebook were real life and STD’s were still someone else’s problem
Journal Entry: Friday, January 17, 2014 Part of the “fun” of this whole sex addiction “thing,” is that the addict makes really, really, really stupid mistakes. For example, when his older acting out partner tells him he does not need to wear a condom because she already went through menopause (he was 41 at the … Continue reading If Facebook were real life and STD’s were still someone else’s problem
She keeps calling and I am devolving
Journal Entry: Thursday, January 16, 2014 He sleeps, and sleeps. He is sick. I cannot sleep. I am at my desk at 5:30am. This is definitely not me. I cannot get out of my own head. Meeting with my friend and the benign phone call with my Father seem like years ago. My husband came … Continue reading She keeps calling and I am devolving
Who is my best friend
Journal Entry: Wednesday, January 15, 2014 I used to think my husband was my best friend. I gave everything to our friendship. I bore my heart and soul and shared every part of my mind and body with him. For thirty years I looked at his face and felt love and contentment. When he wrapped … Continue reading Who is my best friend
Damn you Craig, and your list, whoever you are.
"When truth is buried it grows, it chokes, it gathers such an explosive force that on the day it bursts out it blows up everything with it." Emile Zola Journal Entry: Sunday, January 12, 2014 I made it through the night with my husband. In the nearly 30 years we have been together, I have … Continue reading Damn you Craig, and your list, whoever you are.
And so it begins
Journal Entry: Saturday, January 11, 2014 (Discovery Day aka dday). My cell phone rang, and rang, and rang. No Caller ID. He said don’t answer it. Sometimes he gets calls like that too. Who knows, maybe a solicitation. He goes downstairs {ostensibly} to let the dogs out. Something inside my head tells me to answer No … Continue reading And so it begins
try not to cry on my rainbow 