Other than hurtful words that have carelessly been uttered from my husband's own mouth, and I knew he didn't want to hurt me further, but he did, because healing is a long and arduous process for a recovering addict and every single day for him is plagued with shame and self doubt... I would have to … Continue reading Advice not wanted
cheating husband
It still hurts
We are recently home from paradise. I returned from my six weeks of healthful living in North Carolina, spent one week at home seeing my own doctor and signing up for a local wellness center that offers all the fun classes I will want to take in order to preserve the exercise portion of my healthy lifestyle, … Continue reading It still hurts
Who knows the truth
After Blue Eyes' disclosures of his secret life and subsequent diagnosis as a sex addict, I kinda wanted everyone to know the truth. I'm not exactly sure why. Eventually I know I wanted people to understand sex addiction. I want it brought out of the darkness and into the light so people will know they … Continue reading Who knows the truth
Just another love story. Part seventeen: the early years, with children
If you have been reading my blog, specifically these entries about our history, you know that I was living a certain reality, loving life, hating my in-laws, married with a new baby, struggling to make ends meet, but you also know the bigger picture, and the reality that my husband was living a very different version of … Continue reading Just another love story. Part seventeen: the early years, with children
I keep writing
I keep writing on my blog because I still love to write, it still helps me metabolize my feelings, and you guys are still out there. There are new betrayed spouses and spouses of sex addicts arriving at a daily pace. It makes me sad, but I also realize there is a need for people to … Continue reading I keep writing
Trauma is a bitch
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2X0Zv7kfwU0 I listened to the studio version of this song... "I Don't Wanna Love Somebody Else" by A Great Big World so many times post discovery day I thought I would just die right then and there, listening to that song, crying out those words. Wherever I was, in my office, in my closet, in … Continue reading Trauma is a bitch
Snow White, again
In light of my most recent post, I took a liking to this particular meme posted on a friend's Facebook yesterday. Yeah, Disney, what's up with that!
Crazy making
I have been sick for the past few days. Not horrible sick, mainly worn down, not sleeping enough, mild fever, sinus headache that won't go away... There's a lot going on at our house. We have recently repaired a major leak on our lower level (aka, the basement), which created a ton of dust (I … Continue reading Crazy making
I’m not good enough
Another long holiday weekend in the US has come and gone. For the past couple years I have been avoiding large get togethers with my family up north... I would call them the Mormon family, but many of them are no longer Mormon. At this point six of my father's nine children are not LDS. My … Continue reading I’m not good enough
Therapy is nice…
So, I think I am at this place. The place where I can get past those horrible, frustrating, triggering, and often times painful moments without more therapy. At least for now. I cancelled my last two therapy appointments. I just wasn't feeling it. But, never say never, right? A couple things I love about the … Continue reading Therapy is nice…
try not to cry on my rainbow 