After my heart was ripped out by my son's words, and my husband read the script to me, and I burst into tears asking him where I fit in?, Blue Eyes put his face in his hands and wept. His body shook as he was wracked with sobs. The difference between my sobs and his... they end, rather … Continue reading Where do I fit in?
healing
Mercy
I feel vindicated. Just a little bit. Anyone who reads this blog knows sometimes I get something stuck, in my craw so to speak. I have already admitted I have a bit of obsessive compulsive disorder. People who know me, know this. Spending all this time exercising to iTunes music these days, I am really … Continue reading Mercy
Worth fighting for
Just about 20 months ago I received trauma therapy in Los Angeles. The particular psychotherapist I visited specializes in working with developmental, relational, and shock trauma. From her website, "she is a specialist in the Sex Addiction-Induced Trauma Model and she is trained to work with the addict, the spouse, and the couple. She is also … Continue reading Worth fighting for
Looking back, just like any other day
I am moving right past the fact that this is it, right now, as I type this, the two year anniversary of the discovery day phone call. Blue Eyes did write me a beautiful and loving thank you note acknowledging that he knows what this day represents to me and that he is grateful for everything … Continue reading Looking back, just like any other day
Looking back, part two
While glancing back through 2015 posts, something else popped out at me and that was the fact that early on I still obsessed about the sex my husband had with the other woman. And even after I fully metabolized how unimportant those sex acts were in the scheme of things, I still focused on being able … Continue reading Looking back, part two
Looking back, part one
I did something I rarely do. I went back and looked through some of my old posts. I started at the beginning of 2015 and did a quick perusal of where I have been over the past year. Wow. Eye opener. I have made a lot of forward movement out of the dark recesses of … Continue reading Looking back, part one
It warms my heart
Before going to sleep on Saturday eve, Blue Eyes and I checked the weather for both home and the beach property. We are thinking of taking a drive soon to view the progress on the house foundation. I didn't think Blue Eyes was quite ready for the drive on Sunday, so I was mainly looking … Continue reading It warms my heart
Did someone say Cinnamon Rolls
I am a sucker for cinnamon rolls. I adore them. I crave them. After making three meals a day for days, the Peacemaker and I decided we were going to be lazy one night and order in dinner from one of those delivery places. Apparently they do that kind of thing here too, not just … Continue reading Did someone say Cinnamon Rolls
Reconciling the differences
Me having a rough time of it usually precipitates a deep and open kind of communication that we had not really had before d-day. Until your world shatters into a million little pieces, there doesn't seem to be a need to sit around and talk all day about promises, and behaviors, and other women, and … Continue reading Reconciling the differences
I was doing so well
And this is the way it is going to be, for a very very long time. I was doing well. Accepting of my new and hopefully temporary role of being the caregiver to my husband. I had honestly, pre surgery, been doing well with our roles reversed for a change. I enjoyed kicking back and not … Continue reading I was doing so well
try not to cry on my rainbow 