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Married to a sex addict. Rebuilding a relationship. The recovery journey.

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Loneliness

Precipice

October 9, 2019October 9, 2019 / CrazyKat1963 / 28 Comments

He's there, right now, sitting at the edge of his own sanity. He's unable to hide it, or even deny it. It's not coming from nowhere. It's muscle memory. It's those feelings of having been here before. Not in this exact place, but something, somewhere similar. A bustling city, a lonely hotel room, life crashing … Continue reading Precipice

Moving on

April 3, 2019April 4, 2019 / CrazyKat1963 / 36 Comments

Street Art at Wynwood Walls, Miami Disclaimer: I wrote this post as the third in the trilogy of 'I woke up to nothing' posts. I'm over those feelings now, but March included a couple of really difficult weeks. The sadness even spilled over into our business trip to Paris, but again, I'm doing better. I'm … Continue reading Moving on

Showers

August 12, 2015August 12, 2015 / CrazyKat1963 / 20 Comments

As I stood in the shower this morning, going about the usual routine of washing and conditioning my hair, cleansing my body, shaving my legs, activities that don't require much thought, I realized in my mind I was planning the day ahead. I was thinking about what was on the schedule. I had spoken to … Continue reading Showers

Why didn’t I think of me

July 7, 2015July 7, 2015 / CrazyKat1963 / 32 Comments

I have been writing a lot about Blue Eyes and his fourth step (that searching and fearless moral inventory, the one that Blue Eyes completed a few weeks ago and which is pages and pages and pages long) and fifth step (admitted to God, to themselves, and to another human being the exact nature of … Continue reading Why didn’t I think of me

Bonding road trip from hell, part four

December 25, 2014 / CrazyKat1963 / 2 Comments

Journal Entry: October 16, 2014 Going back home. I woke up yesterday feeling down. In hindsight, I think I was totally burnt out. All my energy was gone. Used up. I had spent days now with my husband with barely a break. It was getting to be too much. In a car, in a hotel … Continue reading Bonding road trip from hell, part four

Where my pain comes from today

December 5, 2014December 6, 2014 / CrazyKat1963 / 10 Comments

Journal Entry: September 1, 2014 Today's thoughts to my husband: I can feel the time slipping away, like watching sand in an hourglass. Each day we get a little closer to the one year mark. I know you can feel it too. This is not the time to swoop in at the eleventh hour, to … Continue reading Where my pain comes from today

Hospitals, our home away from home

November 26, 2014November 26, 2014 / CrazyKat1963 / Leave a comment

Journal Entry: July 13, 2014 I cannot even count the number of timesย my husband has been inย the hospital since I have known him.ย The first night we "slept together" he left for the hospital the next day. We were 20 years old, and sleeping together, in his single dorm room, turned out to be a lot … Continue reading Hospitals, our home away from home

A wife’s worst nightmare

November 23, 2014 / CrazyKat1963 / 3 Comments

Journal Entry: Monday, June 30, 2014 I was sitting on the toilet in a gorgeous tile bathroom at the Four Seasons Biltmore Santa Barbara. Blue Eyes was standing at one of the sinks, shaving. As I looked at him from my vulnerable spot, I realized he had probably shared these same strangely intimate moments with … Continue reading A wife’s worst nightmare

Thoughts for the day

November 20, 2014September 9, 2018 / CrazyKat1963 / 2 Comments

Journal Entry: June 26, 2014 I have been away from my husband for seven days now. He finally got his act together and started calling and/or texting at the agreed upon times, which has helped my anxiety. Sometimes I sleep through his morning texts and sometimes I am in my own therapy session during his … Continue reading Thoughts for the day

Cleaning the closet with PTSD

November 20, 2014 / CrazyKat1963 / 12 Comments

Journal Entry: June 21, 2014 Last night I could not get to sleep without my husband. Since it was a travel day and not officially a workshop day, he was available to talk with me, and call me, and text me as much as he wanted. And he did. Mostly, I was busy with D … Continue reading Cleaning the closet with PTSD

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Recent Posts

  • Iโ€™m still in Ojai ๐Ÿ™‚
  • A pleasant surprise
  • Travel in the time of covid
  • That time I got the shingles
  • Birthday Road Trip: Santa Cruz to Ojai and back home

Recent Comments

CrazyKat1963 on Iโ€™m still in Ojai ๐Ÿ™‚
beleeme on Iโ€™m still in Ojai ๐Ÿ™‚
CrazyKat1963 on Iโ€™m still in Ojai ๐Ÿ™‚
CrazyKat1963 on Iโ€™m still in Ojai ๐Ÿ™‚
blackacre02631 on Iโ€™m still in Ojai ๐Ÿ™‚

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