Journal Entry: September 19, 2014 Last year my menstrual cycle started going all wacky. I missed periods then had a cycle twice one month. I’m pretty sure I’m heading into (or hopefully out of) menopause. I was also getting increased irritation and infections from the condoms we use. It seems we have tried them all, … Continue reading The self-cleaning vagina
sex addiction
The Golden Rule
As I sit here in paradise, it is obvious to me that the trauma symptoms from betrayal know no bounds. It doesn't matter how gorgeous the weather, or how blue the ocean waters, or how vibrant the tropical flowers, or how amazing the view is from the bathtub in our room, trauma is here, permeating … Continue reading The Golden Rule
Internet, dating, and sex addiction
This week December 11, 2014 Here I go, venting again. We are nearing the end of the corporate retreat portion of our Hawaii trip. Earlier this year we had to let an employee go, and we had already committed to a specific room count at the resort, so each of our boys ended up with … Continue reading Internet, dating, and sex addiction
So, let’s talk about “mind blowing” sex
Journal Entry: September 11, 2014 This term, “mind-blowing” sex has been ruminating in my head for months now. Today is the 8-month anniversary of dday. Early in my trauma journey, I read some blogs and articles by mistresses. I was trying to understand why women cheat with married men, especially single women seeking out married … Continue reading So, let’s talk about “mind blowing” sex
Anxiety
Today I have been away from WordPress for a couple days. I miss it. I miss reading about how people are doing. I miss posting on my own blog. I don’t want to fall too far behind since I have still not caught up on my old journal entries. I am currently in Hawaii managing … Continue reading Anxiety
Where my pain comes from today
Journal Entry: September 1, 2014 Today's thoughts to my husband: I can feel the time slipping away, like watching sand in an hourglass. Each day we get a little closer to the one year mark. I know you can feel it too. This is not the time to swoop in at the eleventh hour, to … Continue reading Where my pain comes from today
I don’t care if the world knows what my secrets are
Journal Entry: August 20, 2014 We are still out of town at the family reunion, but now my husband and I have our big vacation rental house on the golf course all to ourselves. My, it is peaceful. I have been doing surprisingly well. I only socialize when I want to. There aren’t the weird … Continue reading I don’t care if the world knows what my secrets are
A present day breakthrough
Yesterday I wrote a blog post that included a journal entry from this past August. I talked about how that day, August 14, was the one-year anniversary of the day my husband broke up with his eight-year affair partner on a drive home from a one-day business trip to a nearby city. Coincidentally, last night … Continue reading A present day breakthrough
Heartbroken
Journal Entry: August 14, 2014 Today is another trigger filled day. Today is the one year anniversary of the last day my husband saw Camilla. They did not have sex. He had meetings out of town in a large city three hours away by car. From the phone records, I know they had been texting … Continue reading Heartbroken
I want to go home
Journal Entry: August 11, 2014 I wake up sad and lonely. I want to go back to the place where someone took care of me, where someone loved me unconditionally, where someone nurtured me and didn't take me for granted. I want to go back to the place where I played all day, out in … Continue reading I want to go home
try not to cry on my rainbow 