I finally got a chance to watch the Parenthood series finale. When the Television Show first aired, I was a little disappointed. It was nothing like the movie with all those quirky characters and really funny moments. The TV show was full of beautiful people, with some of the same basic issues, but without the … Continue reading Melancholy Sunday
survival after betrayal
The year that felt like a lifetime
“Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about un-becoming everything that isn’t really you so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.” –author unknown An excerpt from the Sexaholics Anonymous 90 Days of Meditations (SA 2013) written by a recovering addict: SECRETS REVEAL SICKNESS I'm as … Continue reading The year that felt like a lifetime
A ray of sunshine
I have been inspired by a betrayed spouse blogger and his incredibly happy and positive post today. Anyone reading my blog knows that I was recently in Japan. Japan holds a lot of triggers for me and I still have one more journal entry I wrote in Japan that will be very painful to post... … Continue reading A ray of sunshine
How do I know it isn’t real, part two
Journal Entry, Cont’d: January 15, 2015 The story of Camilla: Winter 2005, Blue Eyes was feeling like shit. His relationship with his family was on a serious downward slide. I was incredibly busy with our kids and my volunteer work. At the time, he was managing four start-up businesses with all the stress that goes … Continue reading How do I know it isn’t real, part two
We are all just players in his game
Journal Entry: January 12, 2015 Logging in and out of WordPress in Japanese, it's pretty cool. Living with a recovering sex addict really sucks. I can see them all, all the personalities that reside in him and represent the healthy and unhealthy bits. He cannot see them, or feel them. He is working on it, … Continue reading We are all just players in his game
Another dark road, part one
As I sit here in trigger "happy" Tokyo, I decided I would post this entry from back in Hawaii in December. My words then represent some of my feelings as I sit here in a place where my husband traveled with his affair partner three times over a period of four years. I am journaling, … Continue reading Another dark road, part one
Balancing out a dysfunctional marriage
Journal Entry: November 24, 2014 Once we knew therapy was ending with Chatty Kathy, both my husband and I talked about the fact that we NEEDED to find a new couple's counselor, right away. I no longer go to individual therapy, and my husband is still very much trying to tackle the recovery process. When Blue … Continue reading Balancing out a dysfunctional marriage
Saving a marriage
Journal Entry: November 5, 2014 You know how they say a marriage can be better after an affair… Yeah, I thought it sounded like a bunch of bullshit to me too. Ten months ago I cried and screamed that there was no way my marriage could be saved, much less be better. Some days I … Continue reading Saving a marriage
Guest post: the sex addict speaks about his first step
Journal Entry: October 31, 2014 “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” -Maya Angelou Since my life has been somewhat of a horror show since January, I guess it is appropriate to have my husband join me on this Halloween evening and share some insight into his brain. This morning … Continue reading Guest post: the sex addict speaks about his first step
Yeah, let’s get this over with right now
Journal Entry: October 31, 2014 Later in the evening, after our disaster of a couple's therapy session, I had my husband call Chatty Kathy's office and leave a message telling her we were canceling our appointment for the following week and we would not be returning to her for counseling. Here is the transcript of … Continue reading Yeah, let’s get this over with right now
try not to cry on my rainbow 