After my last post, things went a bit bad to worse. It is difficult to explain these days how moody we can both be, for differing reasons, under the circumstances. I read a blog post a couple days ago that caused me to go to a place of great pain. I honestly thought I was past … Continue reading A tumble, then a fall
wife of a sex addict
Looking back, just like any other day
I am moving right past the fact that this is it, right now, as I type this, the two year anniversary of the discovery day phone call. Blue Eyes did write me a beautiful and loving thank you note acknowledging that he knows what this day represents to me and that he is grateful for everything … Continue reading Looking back, just like any other day
Looking back, part two
While glancing back through 2015 posts, something else popped out at me and that was the fact that early on I still obsessed about the sex my husband had with the other woman. And even after I fully metabolized how unimportant those sex acts were in the scheme of things, I still focused on being able … Continue reading Looking back, part two
Just another love story. Part fourteen: Testing the marriage.
After the wedding, and the honeymoon, and the other wedding reception, and a long drive back to southern California, we settled in to what would be the most hellish two years of my life, prior to d-day that is. Even though Blue Eyes was in law school, and he technically had another month of summer break, … Continue reading Just another love story. Part fourteen: Testing the marriage.
Seeking happiness
Even after all I have shared here, I consider this post to be one of the most difficult to write. This blog entry is being prompted by current happenings in our little family, and also by blogs and other articles I have read over the past two years, some as recently as yesterday. Our younger son … Continue reading Seeking happiness
Why her?
As in, I was asked a question the other day by a friend. Why do I focus so much energy on the last acting out partner? Why is she the one who garnered so much interest, why was she the one I spewed vitriol over, why was she the most dangerous? Versus the others. Although … Continue reading Why her?
Like a dog with a bone
That's me. A dog. With a bone. Mean comments give me the opportunity to purge, and apparently I am not done venting yet. When someone denies my husband's sex addiction diagnosis, it doesn't make me question his addiction, it makes me question the motives of the denier, but it also causes me to think about just … Continue reading Like a dog with a bone
My challenge with blogging
We're still in Japan, having a wonderful time, but that doesn't mean I don't think about the betrayal. There are so many triggers everywhere. Those who read my blog know what I have been going through the past 22 months. First there was discovery, a harrowing phone call and all the revelations that followed regarding my … Continue reading My challenge with blogging
Just getting by
We're in Tokyo. Me, Blue Eyes, our two boys, and my parents, all here for the Princesse's first birthday. I'm pretty sure my brother (GQ) and his wife are thrilled we have all come here for this great occasion as they are paranoid about taking their little girl on a plane. They're not so much … Continue reading Just getting by
I hope you dance
I spent about a half hour yesterday with a lovely young woman. She's so young in fact that she is younger than my younger son. Her life experiences are minimal. She knows about Blue Eyes and our situation. She knows he is a sex addict and she is so sweet and understanding and compassionate towards … Continue reading I hope you dance
try not to cry on my rainbow 