My younger son has suggested I go back to school and get a degree in psychology. He thinks, perhaps, that I like to talk about this situation of being married to a sex addict, a secret keeper and a liar if you will, betrayer of our marriage, a little too much? I don't know. I … Continue reading Psychologically speaking…
wife of a sex addict
Let me be clear
Blue Eyes reads this blog. Every entry, and most comments. I am always bluntly honest with my feelings, the feelings I am feeling at the time I sit down to write. Feelings change, people change (yes, they do), but I guess what I am saying is, what you read here is the real deal. This … Continue reading Let me be clear
There are no villains here
I was recently reading an article written by a woman who is a life coach and who has spent some time counseling victims of sex crimes. The title of her article was, literally, 'Sex Addiction.' That's it. She didn't talk about the difference between an offender and an addict. She did talk about addiction in … Continue reading There are no villains here
On being the wife of a sex addict
After writing my last post, two things happened. First, my husband wrote an entry on his own blog talking about misery and that he is an addict and recovery is hard, and a choice, and that he is powerless and when he acknowledges his powerlessness, he is better able to see his way out of … Continue reading On being the wife of a sex addict
Trauma is a bitch
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2X0Zv7kfwU0 I listened to the studio version of this song... "I Don't Wanna Love Somebody Else" by A Great Big World so many times post discovery day I thought I would just die right then and there, listening to that song, crying out those words. Wherever I was, in my office, in my closet, in … Continue reading Trauma is a bitch
I’m saying those words
The words I swore I never wanted to hear again. The words that pissed me off, and confused me, and made me think people just didn't get what I was going through. The words that made me want to scream. Now I'm saying them too. I hear those words coming out of my mouth, and … Continue reading I’m saying those words
Therapy is nice…
So, I think I am at this place. The place where I can get past those horrible, frustrating, triggering, and often times painful moments without more therapy. At least for now. I cancelled my last two therapy appointments. I just wasn't feeling it. But, never say never, right? A couple things I love about the … Continue reading Therapy is nice…
Closure
Blue Eyes completed the ninth step letter I had requested of him. You know, the one I asked him to write to his eight year acting out partner. This letter I requested was to be written to the woman who blackmailed him for years with threats of exposing his secret to me. Written to the … Continue reading Closure
The ninth step
I am neither scholarly, nor a particular fan, but I am finding Dante's Inferno keeps coming to mind when I think about Blue Eyes' ninth step, which he presented to me in Ms. Honey's office, last Thursday. He was thirty five years old when he began his journey through hell, Dante that is. Mid way through … Continue reading The ninth step
Dreamers
Some people think it is odd that I can remember my dreams with such clarity. I guess a lot of people can't remember their dreams, and if they can, they can't remember much detail. About once a week I have a really vivid dream that stays with me for at least a few hours, if … Continue reading Dreamers
try not to cry on my rainbow 